Tuesday, June 5, 2012


Frustrated!

I feel like I have been losing and gaining the same damn 2 lbs over and over again for months now. I remember the first time I actually gained anything after surgery, it was after easter at the summerhouse where I was force fed by my mother for several days. Since then it seems, it takes me two weeks to take the 2 lbs off and then about 2 minutes to put them back on again.

GAHHH! I know I waxed poetic to myself about how the band was just a tool and I was going to work it and work with it and whatever other lies I fed myself, when honestly – I really just wanted the weight to come off. Just like that. Band in – belly off.

I had the surgery in January and I really in my heart of hearts thought that I would weigh about 20 lbs less than I do at this moment.

I feel like I have enough restriction (of sorts – getting stuck is at least a very big concern for me) so that‘s not the problem. The real problem is of course that I make bad choices and keep eating when I am full. I eat way less than I used to still, but much more than I did right after surgery and before the dreaded easter eat-a-thon.  I want to get back to where I was in the beginning.

I am still contemplating taking at least a week of liquids and a week of mushies to kick start my weight loss again and try to shrink my belly. But ugh... I just barely made it through the post op diet with my sanity intact. These sound like some miserable couple of weeks, let me tell ya.

For about a month after surgery, I was feeling so optimistic that I didn‘t buy any clothes. I wasn‘t going to buy anything because I was going to get skinny so fast. Ehm. Lol? I have gone down one size though.  As I am hooked on dresses that determination didn‘t last (does it ever, for me?) and I was looking through my wardrobe yesterday and I have bought 14 dresses since the end of January. Wtf, is that normal? If I ever do drop this weight, I am going to have a collection of big girl dresses so vast that I could make a cape for the moon.

SO. I need to recommit. I need to apply myself. I need to work at it.

(Inside, I  am already whining „but I didn‘t pay a zillion dollars for surgery so I could go on a dieeeet...!“)

I will lose pounds this month. I don‘t know how many they will be but they are coming off, come hell or high water (or if all else fails, a cheese grater and a bonesaw).

8 lbs. That‘s my goal. 8 lbs in June.

I leave you with this cuteness:

I know you're about twice my age and half my weight, 
but good God you do it for me!

No one will know who this is ... hahaha

5 comments:

  1. Ugg I hate that you are frustrated that sucks! My band is still too new to know what and how my loss is going to be. I can tell you that for the past 4 years I have maintained and gained and lost the same 5 lbs and it was absolutely insanity! I can only hope that body allows this band to work and do its thing.

    Are you working out? The only thing I might suggest is to incorporate some high intensity cardio that will burn up any extra calories that you may consume a few days a week, allowing the loss to occur. Otherwise, eat less. We dont want to eat less, you sound happy at your current pace, so that means you need to burn more than you are taking in. Let me know.

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  2. Hey Michelle... no I'm not working out yet. The only time I have ever really, truly worked out was when I decided a couple of years ago to "get serious" about my weight problem. I hired a personal trainer, worked out six days a week for four months (no phoning it in either) and kept a food journal - I lost no weight whatsoever. And ever since then I have had a much harder time losing weight. I used to be able to just watch what I ate and drop 1 - 2 lbs a week. Since my foray into exercise, my body hangs on to every pound with a religious fervor. Also as an additional bonus, I was able to gain weight much faster than before.

    So I know I should work out, but I'm scared to... God knows what my body will do then! haha

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  3. You're not on your own at this party. We all go hand in hand though our band life. I think we are all guilty of expecting the band to wave a magic wand over our tummies so we can do the coffee and TV thing and live in a very big house in the country.

    Unfortunately the rules of weight loss aren't blurred. Eat less calories than you burn and the weight comes off.

    Do you track your calories? Eating a few naughty things shouldn't affect your weight loss if you stay under a reasonable daily total. I know it sucks but we bought a tool not a magic fix-it device. All of the successful bandsters have worked REALLY hard to achieve their weight losses.

    Can you step up the exercise gradually? A little walking? Swimming a couple of times a week? Dancing round your house like a nutcase?

    What about setting yourself up with a retail reward system? A new item of clothing for each loss of 8 lbs (since that is your monthly target).

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  4. You're right, Sarah. I appreciate the tender words. I need to realize I'm not on globe alone, others have been through this before me and this is just a low. And that is a universal truth about weight loss too, I dont know why my body is so stubborn. Every blogger in the US seems to do so well. What is that? Magic America? Siiigh. These were supposed to be the best days...

    This exchange probably sounds so completely insane to everyone... hahaha

    But you are right though. I am going to make a plan for myself and follow it to the letter. Do you think I should start off with a small liquid phase, just to ... I dont know... start over? Decrease my appetite?

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  5. Ok, without all the references because my knowledge is limited. I was never that big a fan. I am just British and of the right age bracket ... Honestly, I am not the best person to give advice on the restarting front. My weight loss hasn't been the quickest. I just trust the numbers. It doesn't always work but it does usually come right in the end. I try to keep my daily calories between 1000 and 1200. I found liquids not that helpful and my clinic says you should only use them after adjustments or bad episodes of nausea to allow any swelling to go down.

    Think about your eating habits instead. Are you taking your time when you eat? Chewing enough? I know you are worried about getting stuck but if you are properly hungry too often, you may need a fill. If you are eating rubbish because other food gets stuck, you may need to change your eating habits or get a small unfill. If you are eating rubbish because you don't want to get stuck, you need to kick yourself up the backside.

    I do think tracking your calories for a week or two at least is a good starting point though. If nothing else it acts as an assessment of how you're doing and gives you a good idea of where your calories are going and areas you can improve on. If only you see it, it doesn't matter whether you go over or not and it's not cheating if you make a mistake.

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