I feel like I have been losing and gaining the same damn 2 lbs over and over again for months now. I remember the first time I actually gained anything after surgery, it was after easter at the summerhouse where I was force fed by my mother for several days. Since then it seems, it takes me two weeks to take the 2 lbs off and then about 2 minutes to put them back on again.
GAHHH! I know I waxed poetic to myself about how the band was just a tool and I was going to work it and work with it and whatever other lies I fed myself, when honestly – I really just wanted the weight to come off. Just like that. Band in – belly off.
I had the surgery in January and I really in my heart of hearts thought that I would weigh about 20 lbs less than I do at this moment.
I feel like I have enough restriction (of sorts – getting stuck is at least a very big concern for me) so that‘s not the problem. The real problem is of course that I make bad choices and keep eating when I am full. I eat way less than I used to still, but much more than I did right after surgery and before the dreaded easter eat-a-thon. I want to get back to where I was in the beginning.
I am still contemplating taking at least a week of liquids and a week of mushies to kick start my weight loss again and try to shrink my belly. But ugh... I just barely made it through the post op diet with my sanity intact. These sound like some miserable couple of weeks, let me tell ya.
For about a month after surgery, I was feeling so optimistic that I didn‘t buy any clothes. I wasn‘t going to buy anything because I was going to get skinny so fast. Ehm. Lol? I have gone down one size though. As I am hooked on dresses that determination didn‘t last (does it ever, for me?) and I was looking through my wardrobe yesterday and I have bought 14 dresses since the end of January. Wtf, is that normal? If I ever do drop this weight, I am going to have a collection of big girl dresses so vast that I could make a cape for the moon.
SO. I need to recommit. I need to apply myself. I need to work at it.
(Inside, I am already whining „but I didn‘t pay a zillion dollars for surgery so I could go on a dieeeet...!“)
I will lose pounds this month. I don‘t know how many they will be but they are coming off, come hell or high water (or if all else fails, a cheese grater and a bonesaw).
8 lbs. That‘s my goal. 8 lbs in June.
I leave you with this cuteness:
I know you're about twice my age and half my weight,
but good God you do it for me!
No one will know who this is ... hahaha