Monday, April 23, 2012


I travelled to Germany today for my business conference. I had to connect once which meant I had to wait in a very boring airport for four hours. By the way: People of Frankfurt! Do something about your airport, it is all but suicide inducing. I've had better days.

Before I left this morning, I had something of a NSV. Which I then bastardized into a NSEF and an  OMGWTFWIT. For those of you not immersed in lapbandology, a NSV is a non-scale victory. Some sort of experience that is not scale related, but shows you how far you have come in some tangible way instead. (NSEF = Non-scale epic failure and OMGWTFWIT = Oh my god, what the fuck was I thinking, respectively).

When I was packing for my trip I found a pair of jeans that I remember having tried to get into about a week before my surgery. I was heading to a big party and I'd had it in my head all week that I would wear these particular jeans. When it came time to pull them on and go however, a minor snag to my wardrobe plan appeared. I couldn't get them more than halfway up my thighs. I mean nuh-uh, no way, no how were these pants getting on. I put on spanx, I put on body shaping pantyhose over the spanx... Not happening.

So cut to this morning. I come across them as I am fumbling around for something to wear on the flight, decide to try them on for fun. And they FIT! Now, this was not an effortless fit by any means (meaning I may or may not have had to lay down to button them) but they still FIT. I could put them on and wear them. NSV! NSV! I can see it! They did not fit. Now they do fit. No denying these results, baby.

So what does Einstein decide to do next? Well, wear them on the trip of course.

I felt great about this decision right until I closed the first airport bathroom door behind me...  OMGWTFWIT!? How could I have planned an entire days worth of travelling in tightass jeans that I had to lay down to get into... I never thought about going to the bathroom.

Thankfully I was able to pull them down without unbuttoning them and then pull them back up. I was saved the humiliation of having to lay down on the floor in an airport bathroom to try to tame my gut into a forgiving pair of denims. I don't think I would have survived that. In fact, I would probably have tried to brave the airport pantsless before it came to that!

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