Friday, March 30, 2012

Long Time Gone

Wow, time is FLYING. I knew I hadn‘t posted an update in a „few days“ (that‘s what I thought)...  I didn‘t realize two weeks had gone by.

My weight is completely stalled.  But stalled is better than gaining, as I have been eating like a rabid pig for the past two weeks. I threw a party on Friday a couple of weeks ago, and it was like an alchy falling off the wagon. My chocolate addiction kicked in full force and I haven‘t been able to get through the day since without a little bit of badness. Not good.

But I haven‘t gained any weight back.

The monthlies are back as well (ugh) so that might have something to do with it.

I did finally get my fill though! As of this morning, I am 7cc. I had 4 put in during surgery and then 3 were added this morning.  I feel fine. But I can tell how much fuller I am almost instantly when I start eating. Feels goooood. Gives me hope haha!

I had noticed that I was starting to get very hungry early on in the morning, whereas before I wouldn‘t eat until lunchtime maybe. Now I just need to shake the chocolate demon again and I‘ll be good to go.
My fill is just in time for easter. No way am I going to be able to eat my (rather considerable) weight in chocolate now. Hallelujah.

I know I should be using the band as a tool and the band does not do the work on it‘s own, but it helps me immensely – what can I tell ya, I wouldn‘t have put myself through this if I didn‘t need the extra help.
I know I now owe you a pic but... yeah.  Balloon belly time of the month again. I‘ll post a picture when I am done what that mess.

I have business trip coming up in a few weeks. This is a conference that I attended last in late 2010. I remember feeling pretty down about myself when I was there, meeting all of these new people that I was convinced were judging me and writing me off because of my weight. I remember sitting there, weighing probably 25 lbs less than I do right now and thinking to myself: „Next year, I‘ll have lost 50 lbs by this conference and I‘ll feel better“. Then I went on to gain 50 lbs.  I am still not back down to where I was when I sat there feeling like something the cat dragged in...

The cat required to drag me in anywhere.

Ahh well, there‘s always next year. 

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